beliefs
do you believe in....anything?
In 8th grade I had to take a US history class which coincidentally was during the 2008 presidential election. Because of the timing we got into some deeper discussions about the race, and I remember hearing the first time about how people didn’t like when candidates “flip flopped”. Mr. Toth told me that voters wanted some level of consistency in a candidate, and changing your mind on something showed you were mentally weak or easily swayed or something. My tiny 13 year old brain thought this was so dumb lol. But looking back on it I kind of get why.
Before I get deeper into anything, let me just say that I love rice (hear me out). It’s in my blood, probably quite literally (blood sugar, DNA, etc, basmati only). I think in my household at any given moment for the first 18 years of my life there was either rice cooking or rice in the fridge or rice in my belly. This past thanksgiving I was getting fried by my brothers for talking about how much I loved rice because of how often I would get mad at my mom about how much we ate it in my aforementioned tiny brain teen era growing up.
If rice is in my blood, rice is my parent’s entire soul and physical being. I recall seeing my mom at a ripe age of 50 visibly giggling out of excitement at a fresh plate of pulao at my Grandma’s house.
That being said, tiny brain got really tired of it as he started having friends and eating things like quesadillas and fish tacos. Everyone makes fun of public school lunch, but that’s where I had mini turkey corndogs for the first time and truly never was the same. A lot of my rice anger came from the multitude of food options I slowly learned about that did not include rice that everyone else got to enjoy, and it manifested in occasional mini hunger strikes for taquitos.
My defiance was slowly welcomed over time and we really got to grow and eat some fun stuff as a family. I didn’t have sushi until college and somehow introducing raw fish to la familia was a piece of cake (has rice, should have expected this).
Now my family’s diet evolving from just rice isn’t exactly “flip flopping” but to me, it’s just an example of a core belief (rice for every meal) that was set in stone for generations that changed because of a tiny boy (me) talking to my mom about fun things I would eat at school (shoutout Michelle Obama) or at friends’ houses. It was a normal and logical way to live and grow because of the necessity to evolve. Later in my mom’s life we got nostalgic for rice and had it everyday for like a year again and honestly that was super chill.
My family had an enumerable number of beliefs that held true for decades (prob centuries tbh) that changed the instant they stepped foot in this country for better or for worse, because they had to. Also probably helped that my parents were engineers, which reinforces the belief that there is always a better way to do something.
Ok let’s regroup: now that my brain is big and strong (I drank lots of milk with that rice) I think believing in things shows some mental fortitude. My favorite thing is hearing people’s opinions because I have plenty of my own (I love arguing) and there is a lot of courage in sharing that you think differently and being able to back it up. To take a step further, it shows a lot of mental competency to be able to change your belief when presented with facts, once verified as true of course. Blind belief is dumb as hell and I worry that it consumes 30% of our population in this country (ones who vote) and will lead to our demise etc etc.
Politically, compared to 2008, people flip flop all the time now, and nobody cares. It honestly has turned into a third scenario where people are changing their beliefs all the time just to appease others and look good in polls or in the media (these hoes weak minded).
Truthfully there is no actual main point of any of this. I began writing this stack (substack? what do I call this) almost as a continuous thought for a few months since the new year and as I bring it up to people I think it continues to develop. I think maybe I started it for a few reasons:
Palestine
Over the last two and a half years it’s been interesting seeing people be more outspoken about how insane Israel is and their treatment of the Palestinian people and just their overall influence on American politics. Since I started writing this they literally started a second war. This has been something I was lectured about since like birth and have shared it with people over the years, but until October 7th happened, it wasn't really anything that people took seriously. For me to now go to giant conferences about it and hit the streets and for it to be “common knowledge” to the world (USA excluded) has been cool to see. Until the last domino falls I still have a lot of doubt for true, equitable change in the region, but at least the tide seems to be turning. I was recently reminded that many people growing up in my generation learned about this whole issue back as a kid through this video.
To be honest I didn’t think anyone would change their stance on this ever, mainly because of how everyone treats that region of the world in general (spoken as an Afghan/Yemeni/Lebanese-American lol). My mom’s side of the family left Afghanistan in 1987 and didn’t ever get their US citizenship until like 2009 because they always believed they would be able to go back. There is a realistic possibility I may never get to go in my lifetime either. It just be like that for people that look like me idk.
Religion
I wouldn’t consider myself a devout Muslim, but I live by certain principles I learned growing up with the religion. I think religion in general can subject people to those “blind beliefs” I mentioned earlier, but so long as you don’t let these beliefs do harm to others I don’t see an issue with it. The structure and morals that come with it can do a lot of good. In my mom’s final years it really was a lot of comfort for her, and I also think that’s why I have a soft spot. When things are not looking great, at the very least it provides some level of hope.
I mention this because I do not drink alcohol or eat pork, and in a world where people are drinking so much less, and people are generally eating less pork, I’ve been countered on these beliefs kind of a lot recently. At least the most since college which has been odd. But I guess it got me thinking. This is a belief that I will never change, probably.
The alcohol part is easy enough to argue about. I know plenty of people who have gone sober because addiction or mental/physical health or a family member with issues, so that is an easy one for people to understand. Even if my real reasoning at this point is just “I don’t want to” basically. But pork? Honestly it’s just respect to my culture.
It’s weird growing up in a single religion, multicultural household, because religion was the only real common link between my parents. They didn’t even speak the same native language, so they would speak to each other in English, and to me and my brothers in Farsi/Arabic. There is obviously a lot that comes with religion, but not eating pork is a something that effects me everyday and not eating it just kind of pays respect to those before me. Like I said earlier, it’s not harming anyone so I think its ok if that is my reasoning. I’m just not going to explain this all to you if I just met you at an art gallery and you’re wondering why I can’t eat the complementary salami and prosciutto.
Privilege
Finally, after thinking of all of this, I began to think of the privilege of not having to believe in anything. Throughout this thought dump I have touched on a number of different things that shape my belief system. Family, culture, religion, experience, etc. It always baffles me when I meet people who don’t really believe in anything. They are the soft tofu of the world, accepting whatever people present to them, containing no substance, and by doing so they are categorized as “easy going” and “open to whatever” when we all realize this is bullshit. Not believing in something does not affect them, and that privilege is something I kind of envy, but also pity.
However, I think this person is distinctly different from the person that just doesn't have an opinion or belief on something because they just don’t know about it. It’s about the willingness to learn and approach something that defines whether you are tofu or not.
When someone claims they “are not political” it merely expresses to me that 1. you are incapable of compassion or 2. you are big dumb head. One of the founding principles of this nation (to me at least) is we are only as great or good or successful as our neighbor, and our neighbor and their rights are as important as ours. In a world where this right is increasingly becoming factually stripped away, but thinking you don’t need to care, is indicative of who you are as a person (to me, I am judging you).
My existence is political. I would be ashamed if I didn't have an opinion. Sometimes (more recently especially) I feel a weird type of fear for physically acting to share my beliefs, just because what was protected is now punishable, or actionable by people who think they now have the protection to do something. I wonder if this is all a real fear or just something that the internet is amplifying to me. I think probably real but idk tbh. There’s some ancestral trauma there probably that I can dig into later.
In fact, I think the only thing people can do is share what they believe in. I used to work at a UAW plant kind of in the hood and it was such a crazy place to work. I was at the intersection of both spectrums of the working class: working libs and working conservatives. I hated the actual job, but I loved everyone I worked with, regardless of their political affiliation. In that environment you realize that real people actually aren’t insane or mean or want to cause pain or harm, they’re actually really nice and harmless and human and they listen and care and smile and laugh. Its the Washington and mainstream news fear mongering that so often used to divide us that fuels this illusion (I promise I am not this crazy this sentence just has to sound like this) that if you don’t believe what I do you is bad.
I was recently ranting to someone about all of this and what I was writing, and I think a lot of what I was thinking got a lot more clear.
Inherently there are two categories of beliefs that you can have.
Core morals/principals
What kind of toppings you like on pizza
Core morals and principals are things you truly believe in. Hard to waver from, and at a certain point in your life, just facts of your being. Things I still think people lack but hey it’s prob because I have a large number of them.
Pizza topping pref can change, at any given frequency. Try that pear/hot honey/feta pizza because it prob slaps. Yeah mushrooms on pizza can get too soggy sometimes. If you asked me like 6 years ago I would have told you AI is probably awesome and now I live in its fear at every waking moment. I used to not like mustard. I made my own mustard recently. See my rice rant from earlier.
It’s ok to change some things and it’s ok to believe some things. There is a balance. I like to hear what people believe and I like to hear why because maybe they will convince me to believe that too. That is what makes life and people fun. Sorry for how long this is lol writing is hard. I hope you likey